Streaming Take My Head Online

Take My Head (1970)iMDB Rating: 5.9
Date Released : 1 May 1970
Genre : Drama
Stars : Maria Arnold, Arlana Blue, Uschi Digard, Michael Findlay." />
Movie Quality : BRrip
Format : MKV
Size : 870 MB

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Review :

Findlay porn filler

The Findlays detoured into all-sex filler with this obscure 1970 porn film which other than Michael's purple-prose voice-over lacks the qualities of their other work. Unless Video-X-Pix reissues it as part of a massive DVD-R campaign reviving old Distribpix titles now in the works, it survives only in fragmentary form on VHS.

The 45-minute version I watched does not feature superstars Uschi Digard and Maria Arnold, listed in the IMDb credits. No matter, the picture as it stands is merely MOS footage of lesbian gropings or Alex Mann groping femmes shot in loop fashion, silent and pointless. It cries out for hardcore, XXX content, which was just around the corner.

With scenes presented out of order, even the slapped-on narration doesn't help, as Michael Findlay attempts to create interest via his alter ego commentary. He keeps exhorting Alex to live his dreams, imagine making love to the two lesbians living next door he peeps at, or to have sex with a young woman he encounters out in the snow, with an injured ankle.

Nothing happens, as in most loops, but the mail order/peep show format had the decency to apportion its masturbation fodder in convenient 8 to 12 minute packages. Over the course of an hour, this tedious & mindless approach creates merely a "chaser", a film used to fill out an Adult Cinema/grindhouse program and aid in emptying the theater when it starts up again -"oh no, not more of that crap!"-style.

Level of Michael's writing here is below the campy standards of his best '60s soft porn, for example, telling Alex's character: "Eat breakfast David, eat as you have never eaten before!". The ingestion here refers to the film's dubious moniker, all about cunnilingus. That's because fully visible simulated cunnilingus on screen was permissible by 1970, not fellatio (the hit MONA changed all that). The actual humping is as phony as all soft porn, with much full-frontal female nudity provided by the Findlays, but only fleeting shots of Mann au naturel, he generally relegated to "sex in underpants" mode.

Non-content includes a distressingly cheap sequence of thin Nadia belly-dancing for David and then humping him on his breakfast table -strictly home-movie production values. She is later pressed into service as a random lesbian. The femme cast, as usual, is chosen for their attractive breasts rather than beauty, and of course both Uschi and Maria Arnold would have elevated the stimulation factor by about a factor of five had they been hired.

Final reel is shot with an annoying vaseline-smeared lens effect which renders the visuals a mess - a technique wife Roberta Findlay used in some of her shoots, but the miserable cinematography here is credited to Michael.